I opened my EYES while my EYES were shut…

I said, I believed my journey began with lilies…my first memory is of my nursery as a new born…I remember the white crib with matching dresser and changing table the same dresser that my Grandma Terry still has in her house, oddly enough or not so oddly enough. Well, like I said, nothing happens by chance.  I promised to my husband should anything happen with his parents we or “I” would care for his parents they way I did for Goose. Three years after Goose passed, my husbands father passed in Indiana, so we quickly packed our bags and flew the next morning for a funeral. After the funeral my husbands mom suggested I stay behind to help with the family, I agreed, keeping my promise. I did not know at that point that would be one of the last times I kissed my husband of 14 years goodbye.  I uncomfortable, settled in to make myself of service to his family. The days were busy cooking, mowing a 6 acre farm and keeping things tidy, not too tidy as I had been reminded several times from a past experience of cleaning my mother-in-laws bathroom, that “you should not do such things”.  So I was careful not to do too much or too little of anything.

In the evenings my thoughts would drift, I remember the pain was so deep from losing Goose its indescribable, the grieving process is so dynamic that on certain days it lingers in the air, even if you’re having an amazing day…I had many, it still clings to you like the stitch of a cigarette after leaving the bar…then I would look, not with my eyes, with my eternal eye…the one kept me thinking for most of my life that I was absolutely insane, there is no way for me to know and feel the things I do, to hear angelic rhythms throughout the days and nights..so beautiful that I would stop whatever I was doing to just listen and enjoy….the amazing colors that encircle people or the people who have no color at all.
Then I thought of when I was a baby, in a house with a rocking chair by the widow, I could see a youthful tree through that window.  I was fussy that day, the was agitations in the air, I could feel it surrounding me, I was crying for my mother who had dropped me off at Goose’s house for the day. I remember the light pink dress I was wearing with a diaper under it and some white bottoms with lace on the back, I couldn’t have been a year old yet. Goose tried every possible tactic to calm me, I could feel her desperation, not only for me to be soothed but for her to have some quiet time. She sat me on her lap, I tucked my sticky tearful face near her breast Goose took me in to her arms and stroked my hair, I could feel the lullaby of rocking chair swaying back and forth as we allowed our vibrations work in perfect harmony sending sparks of many colors and light to surround us. I looked up at Goose, I remember the sun catching the golden blondes in  her short curls pinned on her head, she shut her eye pretending to sleep in an attempt to get me to do the same… giggles, so I played the same and gently squeezed my eyes shut.

I, beginning as far back as I can remember, could feel and see the presence of souls no longer in physical form…I was born knowing the CREATOR very well and at around four years of age began to teach anyone who would listen about the unknown…the spirits were very attracted to me, I seemed to be a magnet for them. Some were very scary, being a young child I was frightened and did not know how to protect myself from them…I would try to hide from them…behind chairs, closets…they always found me.
When I was 7 years old I hemorrhaged, bleeding from my mouth in the night, choking on blood clots…my mother placed me in the back seat of her car and drove me to the hospital 30 minutes away…she kept telling me to talk to her and stay awake…I did not know why…I felt her rush to get me to doctors and worry….I felt soft…like laying in a bed of delicate cotton… and the purest love I had never known before…a sense of such peace I had never experienced before. I was content to be right where I was with no desire to leave… I shut my eyes and signed ever so deeply…and drifted through the softest melodies and colors…
Then there was me…I was above my body…there was, on a hospital gurney and a tent of a child I did not recognize, at first. The once blue gown was stained with blotches of blood and the light brown long hair that mom had brushed strait the evening before was tangled in a mesh of mostly dried blood…I could hear music playing from a radio in the surgical room and could see and hear the smug doctor telling the anesthesiologist and nurses that…this is pointless..she’s already bled out…get her family in here to see her…I seen, from above my body my mother, Goose and young aunt come in the room afraid to get to close…the nurse lift my lifeless body to a sitting position, so that my family could see me.  My aunt…only 5 years older than I, cringed and turn her sobbing face into Gooses breast and began to cry. Then I heard a very kind loving voice, although it was not really a voice…I did hear it, but it was not spoken it was communicated to me through his loving presence and color, I understood Him SO clearly as He spoke. I did not see him but felt His presence near…he told me I could not stay this time…I do remember a very peaceful…yet powerful force of energy pushing back in my body, I didn’t want to leave this AMAZING LOVE AND LIGHT… it was greater than that….there is Not a word to describe what I heard, not with my ears but my soul, in His voice or the light and music.. it does Not exist here…I did awaken…

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Lily's CottagePhotography and Inspriational Stories ... Just a Bit of Peace in a Hectic World...

My name is Kristie. My story begins with my eyes opening, yes I was so blinded by my environment that the TRUE ME could not be seen, it was quietly swept under the mat...and kept there for a very long time. I am a Girl, just a regular Girl. I was born in Mesa, AZ when the desert was seen for miles and miles, before the buildings took there place. My back yard gate opened up to a desert field with trees, bushes and light, dusty dirt. I made many forts as a child in that desert...it was a place for me to go...sometimes I would sneak out the house just in time to open that back gate and with my little night gown still on and bare feet and walk in to the open field to watch the wonderous sun rise over the Superstition Mountains. It was amazing. I grew up and graduated high school in Arizona, went to college and graduated...I had no Idea at 44 years old how my life would change. Life is Challenge, a lesson, an understanding and a Gift...I can only hope that readers will find themselves and find that Gift through the process of change....

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