Fingers moved, the right ring finger, then the one next it, am I AWAKENING and how long have been gone, off drearily drifting to a space of dream that finds comfort, comfort and ease one so desperately seeks, pictures like movies of memories replay in a cyclic adventure of what has happened, such fear and anxiety play over and over, oh I hope no one will ever see what my mind sees.
Some great imprinted memories in my mind, so precious to me, still others, feeding off what energy I have left. It’s almost as if somehow I have somehow found myself in the midst very dark place, eating, sleeping, intoxicating to find some comfort, while criticizing what little self confidence I have left. Although I didn’t realize it, you don’t realize it until the dark shadows fall onto one’s self and there is no light at all. My very body, weak from fear, fear of who I am and facing what is dark with me and fear of the learning the equally brilliant light that glows within me… Oneness, a light full of colors, a seed of Love, unending complex simple yet untold colors, a mixing of white phosphorous Light and colors virgin to my human eyes. It is an understanding “THIS” is the Beginning and the End. The language is simple, yet to explain with my human mouth, I cannot, the words or expression simply don’t yet exist in this world and not spoken with my mouth, a communication of vibrations to each soul.
I sometimes think life is about building walls so very high that not even a subtle glow can fall through the musty smell of bricks enclosing me, then tearing them down with burying the fear with the shovel laid before me. Sometimes it is safer to go behind the wall; we all do it in our daily lives without even being aware we are doing this. The trouble is sometimes one stays to long behind the wall too long, attempting to harvest feelings of security, comfort, hiding the band the emotion we are not ready acknowledge and wish will go away, this is “The Inner Side”, this is the most intimate place kept within, it is our very being…it is where the soul lives. This is where the battle begins and self esteem Flowers!

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Lily's CottagePhotography and Inspriational Stories ... Just a Bit of Peace in a Hectic World...

My name is Kristie. My story begins with my eyes opening, yes I was so blinded by my environment that the TRUE ME could not be seen, it was quietly swept under the mat...and kept there for a very long time. I am a Girl, just a regular Girl. I was born in Mesa, AZ when the desert was seen for miles and miles, before the buildings took there place. My back yard gate opened up to a desert field with trees, bushes and light, dusty dirt. I made many forts as a child in that desert...it was a place for me to go...sometimes I would sneak out the house just in time to open that back gate and with my little night gown still on and bare feet and walk in to the open field to watch the wonderous sun rise over the Superstition Mountains. It was amazing. I grew up and graduated high school in Arizona, went to college and graduated...I had no Idea at 44 years old how my life would change. Life is Challenge, a lesson, an understanding and a Gift...I can only hope that readers will find themselves and find that Gift through the process of change....

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